Where is everyone? from Lillian

[Lil]

I am missing you all writing, you all make my day when I see someone writing. Hey JP do you know where the Marmo's are living now? If so it would be great if they had the internet and knew about this site then I could talk to them about when we were kids and our memories.I have not even heard anything on here from our wonderful creator of this great site Bernard. how is everyone keeping I hope you are all well and see some writing on here soon
your friend Lillian
P.S> I forgot to sign on .

[Bernard]

Hi Lil,

I've been busy but am still around and read the daily posts.

My daughters wedding is upcoming, side projects I've been working on, my fulltime job and other things have been consuming most of my time.

I haven't had much to say lately and reply to messages when I feel a need to.

When I made this site my hopes were that former Paterson people would find the site and interact. To a small degree this has happened.

There are several people who have joined the site but have not posted messages. Others that I've met in person have been told about the site but have yet to visit.

Hope you are well and the 2004 is a great one for you.

[BP]

JOJO HAD SOME PROBLEMS POSTING HERE. THIS IS HER RESPONSE FROM THE BSP BOARD at, www.network54.com/Hide/Forum/118388. Bernard

I have been trying to answer a post on the P.P.N. and for some reason it won't go thru.
I was trying to answer Lillian and I guess I have to do it this way.
Lillian stated that people don't post often anymore and Bernard answered her and now I would like to also.
I look foward to reading also Lillian and some days more than others and I don't know if it's me or my just getting older. I have very down days and reading about old memories bring me up.
I have a husband that had a bad childhood so I very well can't talk to him much.
My homelife was not "Ozzie & Harriett but at least I have the option to remember the good days and not the bad.
Like Bernard mentioned, alot of people posted once or twice and then never came back. I have been looking for some old friends like you are, but I know that some probably didn't make it in life and I will never find them.
I remember Andy Vander Brink posted once and never again. I would have liked to hear from him but people change throughout the years and maybe some don't care to go back to their childhood days.
I do know that I don't like going back to see Paterson and I don't care what anybody says on this site, it's very sad and depressing seeing Paterson the way it is now.
It's crime city and filthy. There are the outskirts of Paterson that are nice yet but where most of us were born and raised it's bad.
I work with people that were born and raised here and they see their childhood friends alot and I always tell them how lucky they are.
Paterson is not the same as you remember it Lillian, you live in Scotland now so just hold on to your memories in your heart, that's what I do.
God Bless
JOJO

[Robin]

While I agree that some of the city is crime infested, I can't say all of it. My parents still live on Colonial Ave and that area is much as it was when we were kids. I don't agree with JoJo. There are still parts of the city that are decent. The Hillcrest section is still nice. Many people have left but new people have moved in who care about their homes and the city. The Eastside section is being renewed with many of the old mansions being renovated. The falls and surrounding area is in the process of getting status as a National Park. Representative Pascrell is working on that. The Stadium is being redone. So, yes, the city has problems but, no, the entire city is not gone. There was crime when we were younger. Maybe not as much as today but I remember that there were parts of the city that no one went to at night. True, things have changed. I did choose to move out 20 years ago, as did most of us. But I am there everyday. I interact with the citizens. There are hard working people in all sections of Paterson. Do not put them down by saying that the entire city is crime infested and filthy. Its not.

[Bernard]

Note to Robin: Some folks can't seem to log in here but have replied at the Brook Sloat board:
www.network54.com/Hide/Forum/118388

I have to agree that Paterson is different. It's changed.
But so have we. We are now adults, parents and grandparents and have concerns that we didn't when we lived there and were part of it.

There were plenty of concerned parent who preferred Catholic schools for their kids over public schools even in our day.

The city is thirty years older than when many of us lived there. It shows.

Don't get me wrong! There's no excuse for filth or crime. I just think that our older eyes see more things as unacceptable than when we were younger.

[robertar]

I agree that there is crime and filth in Paterson and as far as I am concerned it is for the most part very dangerous..I lived there for 28 years and it was great..I also agree many parents had concerns back then and put children in Catholic schools over public but that was for educational and religous reasons, not safety..At that time they believed you learned more in Catholic schools, at least my parents and the parents I knew did..But now it isn't only education it is location that has to be addressed..Where are the schools and are they safe...Yet I have to admit it is all over the country for the most part but I just remember after the 9-11 insisdent seeing Paterson NJ on my tv out here in Nevada with people hanging out there windows of broken down buildings and that was on Union Blvd..It was on the Television..So what can I say..Listen to JoJo and keep those memories and smile..Stay away from Union Ave and Downtown Paterson from what I hear and saw out here and from riding through quickly a few years back..

[JP68]

Hello lillian like everyone else the beginning of the New year brings new responsibilities. so I am sorry i've been away but all is well here on the Western Front
The Marmos live around the Paterson area.
Billy lives in Totowa and Joe lives in Haledon,Joe's wife has a beauty parlor on union avenue in totowa called Pierra's . Tia lives in Hawthorne with a home in the Pocono's also Jimmy is all over the place.
Paterson has changed it has gone from bad to worse.
But it may be turning around it may never be the place it use to me but time dosent stand still
And the image of Paterson with the The Arabs cheerong in the streets after 911 made me ashamed to say I was from Paterson.
We were and should always be coinsidered an All American City. I never thought of Paterson as a City
but one big Neighborhood because everybody knew everybody
How many cities can boast that.

[joanie]

I mostly agree with JoJo. I go back to Paterson quite often. My mother-in-law still lives there and I know what I see. I love Paterson but it has changed drastically. In my opinion it has nothing to do with being older and finding more things unacceptable. I'm not thin skin, naive and I try to keep an open mind. If you take a look at son=me of the surrounding towns like Little Falls, West Paterson, Elmwood Park, and Fairlawn, You don't see much change. Sure it is more populated with more strip malls and people, but its not in a state of decay like Paterson. Look at any of those towns schools, and they be well over 50 years old, but they pretty much look the same. If you look at Kennedy which was built in the sixties, its in a state of decay along with school # 5. School # 19 doesn't look too bad. Yes there were undesirable areas in Paterson when we were growing up but not too many. You knew the streets to stay away from. I was pretty much a city girl working downtown, wandering with friends around the city. I remember walking on West Broadway home from work every day , and walking on Broadway from th A&P to the Broadway library, and never being afraid or bothered. We were all over the place. There was hardly a street in Paterson that we didn't know. My cousins lived in the Lakeview section of Paterson and sometimes we would walk there from downtown. Can anyone say that Chamberlain and Colonial Aves haven' t changed? I agree the houses on Colonial, Salem and Plymouth look respectable and as if people care. What about the strip mall where E&V is located? Iron gates in front of the stores and the buildings marred with graffiti, the streets filled with litter. Take a look at Molly Anns brook. I was there not to long ago dining at E&V. The decay is obvious. I love Paterson and I hope that it does recover. I love the memories and I love being nostalgic and remembering the past. Great times. Unfortunately there are alot of people who do not appreciate nice things and like to destroy. Most of the decay is from destruction not old age. Theres a difference. I don't know about you all, but when I was growing up I wasn't going around destroying property. There are alot of hard working people in Paterson and they don't deserve to be working so hard only to have, what they cherish and work so hard for destroyed. Alot of good people just give up because they can't see beyond the decay. I hope Paterson rises up again. I go back there from time to time, digging through some of the ruins, trying to recapture buried memories of yesterdays gone by. Some only need some dusting off, but some of them are in need of major repairs. I'll keep digging.

Joanie

[Bernard]

***THIS POST IS NOT BY THE ADMINISTRATOR, BERNARD. I BELIEVE LIL POSTED THIS USING MY NAME TO LOG IN. ***

I believe you are right we do see things differently now that we are older. When we were kids we had no fear, I had so much curiousity and real noiseyness, I rememember playing down by the railway tracks, climbing on the trains, I cannot remember with who.also there was a icecream factory who use to thow out icecream sandwiches, and popcicles, they were still good but broken or squashed we use to eat so many we would be stuffed. If my Mother knew half of the things I got up to it would have worried her sick. Did you ever climb up Garret mountain and then walk the safe path down? it makes me sick now thinking about climbing it. The kids today,can't really explore their inviorment, like we did, even if they wanted to there is too much danger now to go to places on you own,even here in Scotland its not safe, I know there was perverts and dangerous people when we were young but it like they are crawling out of the woodwork now

[SOS]

I read your comments with great interest. I, too have very fond memories of growing up in our town, but wide eyes as to the city's transformation through the years. I no longer live here and strongly encourage my parents, lifetime Patersonians, still youthful, vibrant and proud in their 70's & 80's, to move to a home where they can stroll through their neighborhood, park their car, hang the laundry on the backyard clothesline, or even answer the door without fear, and have confidence that a "911" call will result in a prompt response. Their property tax rate is far greater than mine, yet the quality of life it purchases is far less. Walking to the Post Office and the newsstand, my Dad has been beaten & robbed in broad daylight on more than one occasion. ( They may have taken his wedding band, watch, and wallet, but they'll never take away his pride.) An elderly friend collecting discarded cans for the pennies they bring was accosted TWICE in my Dad's backyard. Their car's battery, hubcaps, and finally, the entire car were stolen more than once. Their home has been burglarized and robbed of irreplacable items of greater sentimental than dollar value. Illicit drug & sex transactions take place within yards of their front door. Neighborhood kids have found drug paraphernalia and even guns stashed beneath rocks in their play areas. AND THIS IS NOT A "BAD" neighborhood! Yes,as Robin pointed out, most of the residents along this Totowa section street are hard working people who take pride and care in the homes they have occupied for years. Yet for all of their pride and hard work, their neighborhoods are decaying, criminals stalk the entire city, police are overburdened or unresponsive and I fear for their safety every day.

While I understand your civic pride in our once-great city, ask yourself-
Do you want to live in Paterson today? If so, where?

Do you want to send your children to Paterson's schools? (Why did the state take over our school system? - I am not blaming our schools- there is a limit to what schools can do for transient children from fractured families who have no place at home to study or to do homework , or come to school tired from working late at a job, or poorly fed, or lacking a strong motivating example.) What % of our ninth graders will graduate in four years? What % will attend and complete college? And what will become of those who don't?

What is Paterson's birth rate to unwed mothers? (Damn hard to rause a child alone-hard on Mom AND hard on child!)

Does the safety and service you would enjoy as a Paterson resident justify the tax rate? Would this quality of life appeal to you at ANY tax rate?

While there are plans to restore parts of the city, this will take time. (What will National Park Status do to make safe the Great Falls area -where I was surrounded in my car by a gang of thugs and escaped without harm, just the day before a young woman sitting in her car was shot and killed in another part of town?) Do any of us have the interest, time, energy or ability to help effect positive change?

[Lillian]

To SOS
I realize I do not live in Paterson anymore my sister lives in Pequannock, she has told me how bad it has got. I know I would be shocked and lucky to even recognize the places I remember. If Paterson was like it is today, when we were young what would become of us all?
But this site when I first got on it was remembering all our old friends and things we did.
I wish you could get your parents to a safer place to enjoy the simple things in life that they are being deprived of now, but that generation,Bless them is strong and stubborn and do not want to be pushed out
Then again I know it must be a terrible worry for you.
from Lillian

[SOS]

Hi Lil- Thanks for your quick response, it's always a pleasure to read your posts. You hit the nail on the head - yes, our parents' generation is as stubborn as they can be and resents the idea of being pushed out of their homes and city. They will defend our home/town against anyone who criticizes it. I'm not sure they even SEE the extent of the deterioration and corruption - aesthetic, moral,and political, - that surrounds them. On a higher note, a new mayor has replaced our indicted/convicted one, plans are underway for renovations & beautification (wish they'd fill the #$@! potholes left by an especially cold & snowy winter!) and our fine & dedicated teachers are continuing to inspire. Certainly more of the bad stuff makes the headlines than the good. How often do you return to the U.S. to visit your sister ? (I used to teach aerobic dance at the Pequannock Adult Evening School- perhaps she joined us?) Someday, perhaps we'll all meet, tour the town, and put faces to the names on this board- Meanwhile, "Lang mey yer Lum Lou" -Peace and prosperity to all. Thanks, Bernie.
Muriel

[Robin]

I will agree that the city has changed and for the most part not for the better. I will stick to my statement that it is not all bad. There are sections that are still nice. When I read some of the discriptions I had to laugh. It was made to sound like it is horrible. Well, gang, maybe if we stayed around it would be different. How many of us on this board stayed in the city? I don't think any of us. Yes, it was different when we were kids, but do you think that we looked at it with "rose colored glasses"? If you think about it, the sections that were bad in the 60's and 70's are still bad and vice versa. No, I do not want to go back to the city to live. I live in the country now and love it. I do travel to Paterson daily and pass homes that are being redone and people who care about their property. There are many who still reside in Paterson, my parents included, that would never leave.

Check out Redwood Ave by Chamberlain, Lakewood, parts of South Paterson, parts of Stoney Road, most of Hillcrest, Area by St. Gerard's, the Totowa section, Colonial Ave and a majority of Eastside. They are still nice and are being maintained by a new group of immigrants and middle class people. Yes, Sandy Hill, Eastside HS area, Downtown, Riverside, area near Prospect park are run down. Weren't they that way when we were kids?

It is an old city with old city problems. It needs to be brought back and I feel that the new Mayor, Joey Torres, is trying. Sorry to offend anyone but don't knock it if all you do is visit once in a while.

[LiL]

Robin,
When I said we would not stand a chance today, it's because the values were different then. I know, I looked upon taking drugs as one of the most frightening things to see, and I did see, a few of my friends do drugs. Having sex, before marraige then was still a thing that really tormented my mind with guilt and fear. Getting pregnant before marriage was considered the biggiest mistake in your life, a boy felt obligated to marry the girl, thinking that his life is over.
Policemen walked the beat and chased you away from shops, if you hung around too long. I believe they are even afraid to do that now.
So I do not beleive it is Paterson itself or the new people who live there now to blame , its what some people call progress and changes in values that have changed, if when we all lived there and progress and values are like they are now,we would not be the people we are today (good or bad) we would be so different. I am soooo glad I grew up then I only wish my daughter could have had some of it.
from Lillian ( I forgot to login)

[LIL]

I made a mistake when I said some , some of my friends do drugs, I meant some friends I knew back then tried drugs and one or two got hooked